Anger
Sadness
Grief
Seriously, I don't really know what emotion I am experiencing. All I know is that I feel generally crappy. I did not cut last night, but I wish I would have.
...since when?
The thing is that I am tired of holding on. Don't people get tired of hanging on? I just want to let go...give in. I don't want to be strong tonight. I know I am usually more of a fighter than this, but I'm going down. I have my blades out, and I just want to feel better. I don't want to write about how it feels; I want to feel it.
I need help...
I'm going down...
...somebody catch me please.
How was the run this morning? As a temporary help, a run can be a mood changer. Sorry to hear about this rough time. Also, I wonder if you might find 'help' in re-reading some of your remarkable earlier posts.
ReplyDeletePLEASE , do not cut. the presumed 'benefits' do not hold prospect of 'healing'.
Day off from running (3 days on, 1 day off). I'm sorry to say I've already cut.
ReplyDeletesorry to hear that ...
ReplyDelete