Today will be a day of "industry". I took the day off to go to the doctor, and now I have the remainder of the day to myself. I have the much coveted day off without the children or husband - truly a day to myself.
This kind of day does not arrive frequently and usually is not granted without previously paying with hours of hardship. I would say that I put in enough hours of hardship last week.
This day will not be wasted with cutting or otherwise self-destructive thoughts. Today is the day for cleaning my home and my mind. Today I will make clear, peaceful living areas in my house. I will do the things that I have not had the time to do or are too difficult to accomplish while the kids are in the house.
Today, my hands will not be idle, my penny will be heads up.
These thoughts I write over breakfast at a busy cafe. I have not been home yet. I have a little bit of fear about what may happen when I get home and am truly alone, so I've been lingering a bit.
This post is my battle speech, but should my darkness overwhelm me and my strength fail me, I will return here and write it all out.
Once more unto the breach...
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