Well, I survived ten hours without cutting...that's ten hours with a pack of blades in my pocket and no cutting. I had my moments. I held the box, I opened a blade, I pressed it against my wrist, but I did not cut.
Was it unsafe to bring blades with me to work? Of course! But the thought of getting through a ten hour shift feeling the way I was feeling this afternoon was daunting. Having that little box in my pocket was comforting in a sick kind of way.
I am not saying I'm going to make a habit of this. It's just how I got through tonight, and right now it's one day at a time, sweet Jesus.
Tomorrow will be another day...home alone.
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