I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
oh beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
(from Angel, Sarah McLachlan)
I don't want to remember, would rather not remember. Why am I so afraid of the memories?
"She's finished." What is that supposed to mean?! I'm never going to be finished, because I don't want to remember!!! I'm angry, and these are just my thoughts.
I want to vomit. Just thinking about what I remembered makes me want to vomit. Can I hate all men? All of them...all of their penises, their semen, their selfish demands, their unsolicited touch...ALL OF THEM!!!
Yes, I am raging mad, and I do not know what else to do but write it all down - scream with my fingertips.
These thoughts seem so disoriented. I should not really post this, but it is written and what else would I do with it? This is my "say anything" blog, and I can no longer be silent.
Do not be silent. This is your space to say whatever you want to. You may feel the need to be reserved, but this space is whatever you want or need it to be. Say what YOU want to Rising.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am naturally one to refrain from speaking so as to not offend (there are exceptions), so it is such a contrast to be able to say (or scream) anything here. It is what makes this space so healing.
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