Respect My No

Is it written in the stars?

Are we paying for some crime?

Is that all that we are good for?

Just a stretch of mortal time.

 

Is this God's experiment?

In which we have no say...

(from Written in the Stars, Elton John)

 

 

Exactly which part of the word NO was unclear?!!

 

I was already annoyed with my husband, for something minor. He was approaching me to apologize by hugging me - a sexual, rather than caring, type of hug. I was not ready for that. In fact, it was the last thing that I wanted. As he drew closer, I felt my body tense and my heart race. I felt the "fight or flight" feeling. This time I recognized it and told him to stop. I specifically said, "Please, don't touch me, please don't touch me."

 

...So he touched me anyway! That was the point when "annoyed" turned into ON FIRE, and I saw about fifty shades of red! I don't remember sending mixed signals!!!

How am I supposed to heal when he does not respect my "no"? He says that he can't help it, because he can't resist touching me. He has said in marriage counseling that he is not going to ask permission to touch his wife...you know, like she is his property and why should he have to ask?

How did I land this man?! People who have been sexually abused need a caring, sensitive and understanding partner who respects their physical boundaries. Ha, ha, ha! To me that sounds like a dream. Have I not been through enough? Is it too much to ask for a man who fucking gets it?! I have been working really hard to be able to say, "Don't touch me". I just want that honored. Is this God's sick sense of humor?

Is it written in the stars?