It hurts...
It hurts...
It hurts...
It hurts at night when I go to bed. I can see him and feel him.
...and I cry.
He asked for forgiveness tonight. He apologized for hurting me, but I don't want to forgive him. I don't want to trust him. It just made it hurt more. I cried and cried as he spoke all his words...all those words that I don't trust...that I don't believe. I cried when I told him that he hurt me and that it still hurts. I told him it hurts when I go to sleep. I wake up remembering. I can still see him and feel him, and it's just bad!
He said he didn't know that fragile little girl was in there. Really? Fourteen years of marriage, and you just don't pay attention.
I hurt.
I don't want to forgive him.
I don't want to trust him.
I don't want to return to him.
"Trust is not a gift. It must be earned, and not with verbal reassurances alone, but with specific changes in behavior. . ." Janis Abrahams Spring
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DeleteThis quote just says it all. Thank you.
His words are certainly not enough, but I don't want to wait for changes in behavior either. These always seem to be temporary in his case. I don't want to go back to that.
Hi Rising ~ I couldn't say anything better than your last comment. I think forgiveness comes through rebuilding that trust. Yes, that trust needs to be earned and the word "forgiveness" often needs to come through action. It takes time - YOU need time to come to terms with all this
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DeleteYes, I need time...a lot of time...alone...away form him.