Let me begin with a little background information:
About two months ago, we learned that our older daughter was invited to attend a special program at an elementary school about thirty minutes away from our home. In order to participate, she would have to leave her current school and complete the fourth and fifth grades at this other school.
Only the top three percent of students in our school district are invited to attend this program. In order to qualify for admittance, students must score in the 97th percentile or higher on a specific test of cognitive ability administered to all third graders during November and December.
It is quite an honor and an achievement to be proud of to be chosen for this program...and our girl was chosen.
So what happened today?
After much deliberation and attending several meetings, open houses, and tours, my husband and I decided that the new school would be the best place for our daughter. Academically, this special program offers learning at a level that our beloved Montessori school cannot provide. She has, in essence, "tested out" of her current school.
Today was the day that I had set aside for enrolling her at the new school. I dropped both my daughters off at the Montessori school, chatted with my younger daughter's teacher, then headed to my minivan...that's where it all broke down. As I took to the road that would take me to the next town over (and our new school), the tears started to fall. They came hard and fast and uncontrollably.
I sobbed during the entire drive to the school. I could not understand where these unexpected tears where coming from, nor could I stop them. I cried for the loss of our Montessori school, the cradle where she learned to read and to solve conflicts peacefully. I cried for leaving behind the warmest place that I have ever been a part of and for wondering who would embrace my child in the love that these beautiful people have? I cried for leaving behind her very first teacher, who is now my baby's first teacher and my friend, a couple of years sooner than we were prepared to do.
My iPod played on "shuffle" during this tearful drive. As I pulled into a parking spot at my destination, an old Beatles song started to play. I decided to save it for my drive back. I turned off the radio and pulled myself together long enough to enter the building looking like a proud mother and to enroll my child in her new school.
Thirty minutes later, in the shelter of my van, I gave myself permission to fall apart. I turned the radio back on and wept all the way back home, while one of my favorite Beatles songs played and spoke my heart.
In My Life
The Beatles
Words by Lennon/McCartney
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
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