I am back here again because there's no other way to get through these thoughts than by writing. I am suffocating again. I dreamed of my claustrophobia. I was in prison, and I couldn't breathe. I tried to move to a room with more air, but the second room was even stuffier. I woke up with a feeling of suffocation. I felt there wasn't enough air in my own room and anxiously waited for the air conditioner to turn on so that I could feel the comfort of moving air. I would not allow myself to fall asleep again, for fear of falling back into suffocation.
Today, I was afraid to take the elevator. However, I found the stairway was very warm, stuffy and confined. I wasn't sure where it would lead me. If I chose this way, I would have to deal with the fear of getting lost as well as that of enclosed spaces. The elevator would be just one floor. I opted for one floor on the elevator. At least I knew where it would leave me.
Sometimes I feel like my fears are taking over.
Is this a good time to read some earlier posts written by a brave, courageous woman?
ReplyDeleteMaybe...I'm just not feeling very brave today. I need to talk to my therapist.
DeleteI haven't been feeling very brave lately either. I'm hoping it's because of some funky planetary alignment and that it will pass quickly. You're not alone :)
ReplyDeleteHa Ha. Thanks Tiffany. You know I love your humor. I hope your stars will soon shine brighter also.
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