Still on Hiatus

It came and it went...without trampling me, without rolling over me, without punching me in the gut. Somehow, I got through Christmas.

It was busy, it was intense, it was exhausting. Do you realize how much planning it takes to orchestrate Christmas?? But the planning was my therapy. The work was my amnesia. My family and friends with whom I visited and who came to see me were my safety net. There are people who spend time with you and leave you feeling drained and spent. Not my son...somehow his mere presence is giving and revitalizing. Knowing he is home fills me with peace. Perhaps it is his quiet way of helping without expecting compensation. Maybe it is his way of knowing just what to do to lighten your load. They say I've raised him well, but I see so much of his own personality that I am reluctant to take any credit.

I took my son to the airport early this morning, while it was still dark and the Christmas lights on the trees lining the airport entrance were winking and twinkling. Soon all the glitter will be gone and the ornaments and decorations will have to be removed and stored for the year. My blissful interruption will cease, and I will have to face life again...but not yet. I can still hold on to this hiatus for just a little longer. There is still one more week. There is New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

I can continue to fill the space with people. I can have a cocktail party and invite my cousin as well as my sister-in-law who happens to be in town visiting her own sister. I can, once again, exhaust myself with planning and preparations...so that I don't have to think.