How could I grieve both the loss of my Mother and the lack of my father? I don't want to replace her with him...EVER. It's not him that I miss, it's the lack of him that I grieve...feeling thoroughly alone by the leave of my Mother. And even though he lives, I hardly want to fill her vacuum with him.
Yet he started calling after she left me. Landing himself in the hospital...in and out...and calling me...as if...am I supposed to fill the space of caring for Mom by caring for him? I don't want to. Is it bad? Am I mean?
No...I'm hurting.
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