Why I Write

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.

(from Breathe, Anna Nalick)

This is why I write. Sometimes I don't know what I want to write about, just that there is something inside of me that must come out. There is a valve that needs releasing. There is a river that needs to flow. There is a scream inside my throat.

Today is one of those days...actually the past few days have been this way. I keep starting posts that don't know which way to flow, so I leave them...because why force it? But still, I feel that inner voice crying to be released. I am intranquil, trapped inside my own mind and my own emotions. I fall deeper, feeling like my cry for help cannot be heard.

The writing is my voice. The "Publish" button is my speaker, augmenting what I have to say and spreading it out to all who will listen. It is the rope that I use to reach out, spreading the circle of help large and wide.

When I write, the dragons are no longer inside of me. They are spelled out clearly for me to analyze and tame. Sometimes the writing is brutal and somewhat hard to take. Those days, the writing is simply the raft that keeps me from perishing in the violent rapids of my emotions and my memories. I write for survival.

Sometimes I cry out when I write. I am sinking so deep that I fear not being able to pull myself out. I may just want to talk, but at 2 AM there is no one to talk to...so I write.