Shame in My Mouth

I was going to write about something more fun tonight but these nasty little thoughts just will not leave me. It 's the memories that keep creeping up. I don't have any organized way of presenting these thoughts. I just know that I need to write them down, so that I can sleep tonight.

I made the mistake of popping a tiny piece of 3 Musketeers chocolate in my mouth after Halloween. (This post has a little history on my experience with this candy bar).There were so many in our basket, and I thought it should be OK. I should be able to eat a piece of chocolate without having flashbacks...not this one. Immediately after biting into it, I regretted it. The taste of shame exploded in my mouth, and it hasn't left me since. The memory gags me...his hard penis.

Fast forward to my husband...I cannot differentiate him from my stepfather. He is in my bed pressed against me, caressing the very parts that are so vulnerable. He doesn't stop when I say stop. Please do not return tomorrow.