So I Fell

I cut last night...which basically means that it's time to sort my shit again. Not that I'm not continuously sorting shit (aren't we all?), but things have started to get overwhelming. So I resorted to my old go-to method of relief...escape.

I hate to think of cutting as my "go-to method". I tell myself that it isn't. It isn't. It isn't. I just had a fall last night...that's all. There have been so many other times when I have been strong and when I have chosen differently. There have been so many other times, especially recently, when cutting hasn't even been part of the list of options. This is how I like to see myself - someone who doesn't consider self-harm as a possibility.

I just fell last night. Somehow I felt that I deserved to hurt and that the sting would quiet the screaming in my head.