In the clearing stands a boxer,
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame,
'I am leaving, I am leaving.'
But the fighter still remains
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame,
'I am leaving, I am leaving.'
But the fighter still remains
(my favorite verse from The Boxer, Simon & Garfunkel)
Today has really kicked my ass. I don't have the energy to describe all the details of what went into this ass kicking, but I feel like I have been punched a lot today. I have gotten back up after every punch, because it just wasn't time to fall down yet...because I have resilience...because my fighter still remains.
The last punch was hard, and it was late in the evening, so I had started to let my guard down. It's the one that I feel I haven't gotten up from.
I know it's hard to decipher what this post is about. It really has no point. When I started to reply to the last two comments on the previous post, I finally broke down in tears. I didn't know what else to do with these emotions, except write them down.
Tomorrow I'll be stronger...and respond to comments.
I am sorry to hear that you have had a hard day. We have the hard times so that we can appreciate the good ones, or so I have been told anyway. Sweet dreams and speak soon dear xx
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DeleteWell, good times do feel that much sweeter if you have struggled to get there.
Sleep often helps, and I think today was overall a better day.
Thanks :)
Often, it’s not important exactly what is knocking us down. Sometimes when we are fragile, the punches feel relentless, heavier, and more violent. They are also more difficult to recover from. I'm guessing this is part product of all that hard work you're doing in therapy. Keep bouncing back!!
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DeleteWow, you hit that nail right on the head! Yesterday presented me with a number of challenges that, on a regular day, probably would have been just that...challenges. I was, however, feeling fragile post my EMDR session on Tuesday, and every single "challenge" seemed to have knocked me down. Often I thought, "Why today? Why is this being presented to me precisely today?"
I suppose some days will just be like that. Thank you for your support and kind words. I will continue to try to see the other side of the mountain.
I hope you'll feel better soon. You're in my thoughts xxx
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DeleteGood to see you Grace! Thank you, you've been in my thoughts also xx
Things were a little rough this morning, but overall, today was a better day :)
Hope you don't think this creepy.... but I've been thinking about you. I know you're having a rough time, but remember you are not alone! Hope you're okay
ReplyDeleteNot so creepy since I was just on your blog last night (could not comment because I don't know the first thing about Twitter!) Thank you for thinking about me.
DeleteI'm OK. I've just had a very hard time balancing my time and keeping up with my responsibilities and schedules the past two weeks. My daughter's new school schedule is killing me, but I'm trying very hard to keep things tranquil and orderly for her (and her sister). She needs extra support during this time in order for her to transition successfully into her new program. On the other hand, her little sister needs extra love and attention so that she doesn't feel forgotten in all of Big Sister's accomplishments. All this plus work is really consuming me.
Once we do work, school plus dance or piano lessons, I often get home ready to just burst into tears...but I don't...for the kids' sake. I normally write at night after they have gone to bed, but lately I have had to choose between writing or resting. Exhaustion is a precursor to depression for me, so I have been choosing to rest. I find that I can't organize my thoughts and emotions enough to write a post anyway.
Thanks for checking on me, Cat. It means a great deal.
What a great insight . . . exhaustion as precursor to depression. Good that you recognize that and make 'smart' choice. Now, I think I will grab some zzzzz's.
ReplyDeleteI'm learning. Thanks for checking in :)
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